Misha Williams

 11 
They start to go.  
 
ALBERT 
Right, I'm not giving up. If he presents a barrier, we've 
got to go and meet his mother. Fawcett's wife will 
know everything…! 
 
JESS 
Oh, she's not still alive, is she?  Oh, my God! 
 
They exit. 
 
BRIAN 
There's a curse, isn't there? You said so. On people 
who delve into Daddy's secret background? 
 
"M" 
Yes. Anyone who violates it… Especially for 
money…Suffers! And in some cases that means death! 
 
 
Music. Light change. 
 
 
SCENE FIVE. BRIAN'S LIVING ROOM. 
 
BRIAN sits on the sofa. "M" massages his neck. RUTH comes in with a 
cup of tea and some cakes. She lays them out on the table. 
 
RUTH 
Oh, it's such a relief to be alone, darling. I just find 
visitors such a disturbance. 
 
BRIAN 
Ooh! Cupcakes! 
 
RUTH  
I'm not even going to bother going into town to see the 
Queen Mother's visit. Not after watching that 
programme which said she's just an old cow. And 
greedier for clothes than Princess Di!   
 
 
 

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 12 
BRIAN 
I can't stand any of the Windsors or the Gluckstein-
Battenbergs as they are really called. How they got our 
address to ask us to their garden party I cannot 
imagine. I wouldn't be seen dead inside Buckingham 
Palace. All that patriotic pomp and boasting. What have 
we got to boast about, for God's sake? This country's in 
the process of dying. No great music, no great works of 
art. Everything's cheap. Imported, worthless American 
culture that makes people dangerously puerile. The 
only hopeful aspect is that there are individuals like 
myself who see through it all and deplore it. 
 
"M" has finished massaging and looks slightly bored. RUTH comes over 
and hands BRIAN a cup of tea but "M" reaches forward and takes it and 
puts it down on the coffee table. RUTH watches horrified and then lets 
out a howl. 
 
RUTH 
(Quite calmly, trying to accept what has happened as 
normal) Oh! I'm so sorry. I just. I don't know what is 
going on with my mind. I imagine things. Floating 
around on their own. I'll just go and lie down for a 
moment. Ooh.  
 
BRIAN 
I'm sorry dear. (Calling after her) Are you alright, 
Ruth? 
 
 RUTH has left without hearing him. He turns to "M," 
 
BRIAN 
Don't do that to poor Ruth! That was nasty, scaring her 
unnecessarily. 
 
"M" 
Sorry. I got bored. We get bored, we siths. Just like 
you humans get bored, siths also get bored, you know! 
I like playing tricks. So don't be so stuffy! 
 
 
She goes away from him like a spoiled, restless child despite her 
agelessness. 
 

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 13 
"M" 
And I don't like you telling me off. So I'm not giving 
you a lesson today. (She gives him a frightening glare)  
I'm going out! I don't like the way your farmer next 
door treats his cows, so I think I'll go and zap him.  
 
BRIAN 
(Humouring her) Quite right. If he lived in India he 
would be stoned for treating cows like that. Give him a 
good heart attack! 
                      
"M" leaves 
 
             Rid the Earth of some dross! 
  
          
 He turns to audience and speaks to them.  
 
      
  BRIAN 
After I'm dead, someone's going to find my private 
diaries and think I'm completely dotty! Life for me has 
turned out in a completely unique way… 
 
He unlocks his secret cupboard and takes out one of many volumes of 
his journals 
 
 
But what is "Reality"? There is no one reality. What is 
real to you may be something quite different to what is 
real to me. So when the call came, I, a successful 
railway engineer, answered it. St. Paul got it on the 
road to Damascus. I got it at the Macumba Café in 
Lima. When "the call" comes, that's it.  You're in 
someone else's hands. I had been aware of her unseen 
presence, but it was one June 11th when she actually 
appeared in all her glory and gave me that one look 
and said…  
 
"M" 
(Offstage) I think…I've got you. 
 
 
 

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 14 
BRIAN 
She had got me. My whole life was suddenly clear. I 
had to give up my job and Peru my adopted country, 
and return to England. She said it was essential to live 
in the land of my ancestors and told me to settle in 
Cumberland. It's a bit remote but the business of 
raising a barrier to keep other people out is one of the 
prices to be paid for instruction in the "Higher 
Wisdom." I had to sacrifice everything that is normally 
considered desirable. Social friendships, professional 
success, having children…My beautiful first wife 
Charlotte (He is on the verge of tears)… was taken 
away from me very suddenly……with our unborn child 
still in her womb (He recovers himself and resumes a 
matter of fact determination). So, coming back to 
England I had to start here afresh with a new wife, an 
un-exotic soul yes, but who would keep me 
untrammelled to proceed on my quest. And Ruth is 
perfect for the job. Was it all worth the price exacted? I 
answer an unhesitating  "Yes." 
 
Strange low music. BRIAN locks his diary away and opposite him, on the 
grey side of the stage, three ragged figures appear through the 
darkness. They are FAWCETT, JACK and RALEIGH, doomed to wander in 
purgatory; murky, half-remembered figures in the minds of their 
surviving relatives. They move in a slow hesitant motion like Bruegel's 
"The parable of the blind."   "M" appears behind them and taking 
FAWCETT by the arm leads him playfully towards BRIAN. 
 
 
"M" 
Brian. 
 
 
BRIAN 
(To "M") No. Not now. I'm not up to confronting… 
 
FAWCETT 
What did you want to ask me? 
     
                       BRIAN (sheepishly) 
Er...How long will you be away this time? 
 
 

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