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Second Assignment
To help you maintain balance in your life, your second assignment is to withdraw from
ALL parish and other ministries while you are in formation (both Aspirancy and Candidacy)
Such ministries include: pastoral council, parish committees, non-liturgical church ministries and
other ministries that would place an unnecessary burden upon your formation and family life.
However, you are encouraged to actively function as an extraordinary minister of Communion
and as a Lector as often as possible because these ministries will help you in the discernment
process as well as hone your developing diaconal skills.
Withdrawal from ministry must be done before the first September meeting with the
other Aspirants, Wives and Formators. We suggest that you meet with your pastor or parish life
director (or other ministry supervisor) and explain the demands of the formation process and this
requirement. Feel free to direct any of their questions to the Director of Diaconate Formation
and rely on the advice of your Formators if there is a doubt about a ministry you are actively
engaged in.
Another Assignment for Single Aspirants
Between June and September, take some time apart at a place free from interruption.
Prayerfully and slowly read this handbook again. Pray about the requirement
to embrace sacred
celibacy. It may be useful to invite a celibate deacon or priest to spend some time with you since
God speaks to you through silence and also through others.
Discernment by Your Wife
The Sacrament of Matrimony sanctifies the love of wives and husbands, making their
love an efficacious sign of the love of Christ for his Church. Married deacons bring to the
Sacrament of Holy Orders the gifts already received and still being nurtured through their
sacramental marriage. See paragraph 66
DMLPD
.
Diaconate
Formation
(and
eventually ordination) must not adversely affect your
marriage. In fact, when the challenges of married life and the demands of formation are faced in
a spirit of faith, they can and should strengthen and enhance your relationship. That is why your
wife is asked to journey with you during your formation. Under no circumstance should you
grow apart. Effective and honest communication between you and your wife is absolutely
necessary throughout Aspirancy, Candidacy, and post-ordination.
This is so important that when you submitted your application, your wife was required to
provide a hand-written letter showing her initial consent for you to begin Aspirancy. Your
wife’s presence is especially important during Aspirancy, a period of intense discernment. She
can offer her prayerful insights. This consent process will be repeated as you continue to
candidacy and eventually ordination. Like you, your wife must enter into this journey as your
partner with eyes wide open and she can’t if she is not on the formation path with you. A
reminder: your children are also an integral part of this process.
The
DMLPD
paragraph 141 states, “A man’s diaconate formation can be a gift in the life
of his family, providing it with an opportunity to explore together the meaning of discipleship,
7
Church, and church vocations. It can strengthen the bonds between parents and their children
through prayer, communication, and shared virtue. It can also be a powerful experience of
community, service, and compassion.”
As you read earlier in this handbook, the Aspirancy Formator team always includes a
woman who is very knowledgeable about the demands and blessings formation (and ultimately
ordination) will place on your partner. In addition, your wife can rely on the other wives from
the entire diaconate community to support her with prayer and guidance.
Third Assignment for Married Couples
If possible, before September, try to spend a day or weekend alone with your wife in a
place that is private and free from interruption. Engage in prayer together and then share with
each other everything you have heard about the diaconate during the inquiry phase. Bring along
two copies of this handbook (available on the deacon web page,
New Vocations to the
Diaconate
). Go through it together and thoroughly work out areas of concern. In that way, your
wife will be able to lovingly give her consent for you to continue to candidacy and eventually
ordination, confident that she is compatible with your Diaconate vocation and future ministry.
Should an issue arise that is a potential conflict between your marriage and the formation
process, please make an appointment with the Director of Diaconate Formation.
Ecclesial Discernment
They should be tested first; then, if there is nothing against them, let them
serve as deacons.
(1 Tim 3:10)
The diaconate is a unique vocation called forth by the Holy Spirit. The Bishop has a
responsibility to ensure that your pre-existing traits and dispositions identified during the Inquiry
Phase and associated with your possible vocation to the diaconate are carefully examined and
built upon through a well-defined and uniform formation process. These traits and dispositions,
which you have already demonstrated to some degree, during the inquiry and application phases,
include:
Traits & Dispositions
-
A natural inclination toward service to the Christian Community and all who are in need.
-
Psychological integrity.
-
A capacity for dialogue, which implies a sense of docility and openness.
-
Your ability to share your faith while being able to respectfully listen to another’s point
of view.
-
Your capacity to listen carefully and without prejudices.
-
Respecting people in the context of their religion, race, gender, ethnicity, and culture.
-
Good communications skills.
-
Your sense of responsibility that includes fulfilling your word and completing your work
assignments.
-
Self-directed and collaborative accountability.
-
Balanced and prudent judgment.
-
Your generosity in service to others.