Living with the Lama (1964)

CHAPTER SIX

The bus rolled along the harbour road, passed under the old tram bridge, speeded up and soon left Howth Castle behind us. We were all silent, the Guv already worn and weary, looking out at the land he loved and was so reluctant to leave. “If only those Tax People were not so rapacious!” I thought. We sat by him, silent in sympathy. At Sutton we all looked to the left to give a silent farewell to another old friend, Dr. Chapman. On, on towards Dublin, with the smell of the seaweed blowing in from the mouth of the River Liffey and the seagulls calling a sad farewell overhead.

Miss Ku sat in the back on a luggage rack where she could see out, “Get a good listen at this, Feef,” she called to me, sitting by the Guv. “I will give you a running commentary on the things you have never seen. This is Clontarf, we are just passing the Gardens.” There was little talk in the bus, no one spoke except Miss Ku. I had had six months of Heaven in Ireland, six months in which to realize that I was wanted, that I “belonged.” Now we were leaving, leaving for WHAT? The bus rolled on without jerks or starts, for the people of Ireland are very courteous and always consider the rights of the other driver.

Traffic was becoming thicker now. At times we stopped, when the lights were against us. Suddenly Miss Ku said, “We are passing Trinity College, Feef, say goodbye to it.” Trinity College! Just opposite was the Travel Agency which had made all the arrangements. I wished that I could stop in and have them all cancelled. The Guv reached down and rubbed me under my chin and pulled me closer. Traffic was thinning out as we reached the outskirts of the city. The driver speeded up.

“We are going to Limerick, Feef,” said Miss Ku, “I could tell you one: There was a young cat of Kildare who had catnip flowers in her hair . . .” “Shut up, Ku!” said the Guv, “How can anyone think while you are there groaning away.” For a time all was quiet, but Miss Ku was never silent for very long. Sitting up she gave a running report of all things of interest which she thought I should know about. I am old, and have had a hard life. Trying to manage without sight is difficult. The journey tired me so I slept awhile.

Suddenly I sensed a different motion and quickly sat up. Were we there? How long had I slept? What was happening? The bus slid to a halt. “It is all right, Feef,” said the Guv, “We have just stopped for tea.” “Halfway to Shannon,” said the Driver, “I always stop here, they serve very good teas.” “You two go in,” said the Guv, “the cats and I will stay here.” “All right,” said Ma, “I will bring your tea out. Ku'ei and Fifi can have theirs at the same time.” Ma and Buttercup left the bus and I could hear them walking. The ‘click’ of a door, and they were in a shop. “Market town” said Miss Ku, “Lots of cars parked. Nice little place. People look friendly. There is an old woman smiling at you, Feef, smile back. She's blind,” yelled Miss Ku to the old woman, “she can't see you, talk to me instead!” “Ah! shure,” said the old woman, pressing her face close to the window, “ ‘tis wonnerful crayturs they are an' all. ‘Tis meself the little one was talkin' to. Wonnerful what they have nowadays!” “Aw, come on, Maw! Yer've got to get Paw's tea or he'll be off to O'Shaughnesseys.” “Ah! Ah! ‘Tis right you are, I must be goin’ ” said the old woman as she shuffled off. “I liked her shawl,” said Miss Ku, “I would like to have it as a bedcover.”

Ma came out bringing food and drink for the Guv. She gave us our tea, too, but we were too excited to eat much. “What have you got, Guv?” I asked. “Bread and butter and a cup of tea,” he replied. It made me feel better to know that he was eating even a little, so I went and had a few desultory pecks at my own tea, but how CAN a cat eat when she is so excited? I thought of the travels I had had before, buffeted about in a speeding car, or drugged and half suffocated in an almost airless wooden box. NOW I was going to travel first class and not be parted from my Family. I settled down beside the Guv and purred a little. “Old Feef is bearing up well,” he said to Ma, “I think she is enjoying it even though she would not admit it!” “Say something about me!” yelled Miss Ku from the back of the bus where she was guarding the luggage and directing the Driver. “I don't know how we would manage without Ku'ei to look after us and keep us in order,” the Guv said as he tweaked my ear. “Miss Ku makes more commotion than all the Cats of Kilkenny,” he added.

The bus droned on, eating up the miles, taking us from all we loved and knew, to—what? We left County Tipperary and entered County Limerick. Darkness was upon us now, and we had to go more slowly. The journey was long, long, and I wondered how the Guv would ever last. Miss Ku said he was becoming paler and paler as the miles went by. Time meant nothing any more, hours and minutes just ran together as if we were living through eternity. The droning of the bus, the swish of the tires, the miles racing up to us, going beneath us and falling away into nothingness behind. Even Miss Ku had lapsed into silence. There was no talk now, only the sounds of the bus and the sounds of the night. Time stood still as the miles fled into the anonymity of the darkness.

Miss Ku sprang to her feet, from sound sleep to wide awareness on the instant. “Feef!” she called, “are you awake?” “Yes, Miss Ku,” I replied. “Fingers of light are sweeping the sky, dusting off the clouds for the airplanes,” she exclaimed. “We must be near Shannon, we must be almost there.” The bus droned on, but now there was an air of expectancy, The Family sat up and took notice. The Driver said “Five minutes more. Do you want the main entrance? Are you flying tonight?” “No,” said Ma, “We are resting here tonight, all tomorrow, and leaving for New York tomorrow night.” “Then you will want the Motel,” said the Driver, “they have a real smart place.” He drove on a little further, made a sharp turn, and went for perhaps half a mile on an Airport road before stopping at a building on the right. Getting out, he went into the Office. “No!” he said, when he returned to the bus, “you are not booked in there, we have to go to the one near the Entrance Hall, I know where it is.” Perhaps another quarter of a mile, and we drew up at yet another building. The Driver checked, and found that at last we had reached the correct building. Our luggage was carried in, or the things we would want overnight were, and the heavier things were taken straight to the Airport. “I want the Ladies' Room!” yelled Miss Ku. “Here you are, then,” said Ma, showing her the special tin which she had placed in the bathroom. Gently lifting me, she carried me into the bathroom and let me feel which was my tin. Afterwards, when we sauntered out into the bedroom we felt much better. As usual, The Family had a room each. I slept with the Guv, Miss Ku slept with Ma, and poor Buttercup had to sleep alone. Miss Ku and I worked hard investigating everything and making sure that we knew all the escape routes and the exact location of all necessary facilities. Then we turned to our supper.

No cat should EVER be fussed until it has had full opportunity of investigating the room. Cats must ALWAYS know exactly where everything is. Our sight is very different from that of humans and most times we see in two dimensions instead of three. We can “stop” motion that would bewilder a human; we can alter our eyes so that we can magnify an object in much the same way as a human does when he uses a glass for that purpose. We can alter our sight so that we see clearly at a great distance, or we can see things an inch from our nose. Red is beyond us, it appears silver. Blue light to us is as bright as sunlight. The finest print is clear to us, the smallest insect. Our eyes are not understood by humans, they are wonderful instruments and enable us to see even by infra-red light. Not my eyes, though, for I am blind. My eyes, I am told, appear to be perfect, they are of a forget-me-not blue, and they are wide open, yet they see not at all.

We all slept that night, untroubled by the drone of aircraft landing, taking off again and going far over the ocean. The next morning Ma and Buttercup went out and brought back breakfast for all of us. We lazed about, Miss Ku sat at a window and admired the dresses of women passing to and from the Airport. The Guv dressed and took us to play on the grass outside the building. I was very sure that I stayed well within reach of his hands; I was not taking any risks of getting lost now!

“Feef!” said Miss Ku, “This the Airport where you came from France?” “Yes, Miss Ku,” I replied, “but I came in by the baggage entrance, I have had no experience as happy as this before. From here we flew to Dublin Airport, but of course I was unconscious.” “All right, Old Woman Cat,” said Miss Ku, “I will keep my eye on you and see you do the Right Thing. I'm an old hand at this sort of thing.” “Thank you, Miss Ku,” I replied, “I shall be MOST grateful for your guidance.”

Lunch time came and Ma called us in because we had to have our food and then take a rest. With the meal over, we all lay down, Miss Ku and Ma, Buttercup alone, and the Guv and me. We rested well because we did not know how well we would sleep on the airplane. I was awakened by the Guv stroking me and saying, “Feef, you are a sleepy old thing, you and Ku'ei run round and make an appetite for tea.” “Come on, Feef!” called Miss Ku, “We haven't explored the corridor, there is no one out there now, COME ON!” I jumped off the bed, scratched my ear for a moment while I thought which way to go, then found the Guv's hands guiding me to the open door. Miss Ku led the way, and we carried out our scientific investigation of the corridor and analysed the people who had passed that way. “Let's go into the Reception Clerk,” said Miss Ku, “we can show off.” Many people have not seen Siamese Cats, and I must admit at the risk of appearing immodest that we were a sensation. I was flattered beyond measure when people thought that I was Miss Ku's mother! We made our rounds of the Reception Office and then returned to our rooms for another sleep.

Lights all over the Airport were a twinkle when we rose again and had our supper. The gathering darkness deepened and changed to night. Slowly we gathered up our belongings, went out into the warm Irish night, and made our way across the road to the Airport. Men took our luggage and put them ready for Customs inspection. The Guv always had the kindest words for the Irish Customs men, there was NEVER any trouble with them. Our only trouble with Irish officials was with the Tax men and their greed was driving us from Ireland.

A very courteous Swissair man came and greeted us and spoke a word to Miss Ku and me. “The Company would like you to have dinner as their guests,” he said politely to The Family. “No, thank you,” replied the Guv, “We have had our dinner, and we would not leave our cats even that long.” The man told us to say if there was anything he could do for us, and then he went away, leaving us alone. Ma said, “Shall we give the cats the tranquilizers?” “Not yet,” said the Guv, “and I am not giving Feef any, she is always quiet. We will see how Ku is when we get aboard.”

Being blind, I find that I am under a great handicap when I try to describe the next sequence of events. Miss Ku, after much persuasion and at much inconvenience to herself, has agreed to write the next few pages . . .

Well, there we were, sitting like a lot of creeps in the Main Hall at Shannon Airport. Crowds of people were sitting there like broody hens. Children were yelling their bad-tempered heads off and making mine ache with the clamour. Some Yank guys were sitting in a corner looking like a lot of stuffed ducks. They thought they were Big Wheels because they had CD bags labeled for Paris—where the Old Woman Cat came from. The Airport clock was rusty or something, because time went slowly. At last some guy all dressed up in blue and brass came over to us and almost kissed the dust on the ground as he told us that the Swissair Flight from Shannon to New York International Airport was ready. I thought how silly, because how was it a flight when it was still on the ground. He tried to grab my basket, but the Guv and Ma weren't having any. The Guv hoisted the Old Woman Cat's basket and Ma grabbed the one I had. Buttercup—goodness only knows what she grabbed, I was too busy to look. Off we went, like a Sunday School party, across the floor of the Main Hall and out into the darkness that wasn't. It would have been, but every light in Shannon seemed to be shining. Out on the runway there were all kinds of coloured lights. Other lights waved like fingers in the sky. Then I looked forward and saw the plane. My! It was big, bigger than anything we had seen at Dublin Airport. It looked to me almost as big as Howth on wheels. We trailed along, getting closer and closer to that airplane, and it seemed to get bigger and bigger. At the front end there was a ladder thing with sides to it so that men on the ground could not see what we cats can always see. Women, I mean.

The Old Man carrying the Old Woman Cat climbed slowly up that ladder or stairway or whatever they call it. A well fed Purser (my! I bet he ate well!) bowed so low he almost creaked. An even better fed Stewardess dressed in navy blue and with a white collar greeted us. She did not bow, her girdle prevented her. All Stewardesses and Hostesses wear girdles, I know that from a book the Guv wrote some time ago. Anyhow they got us all in the First Class compartment, and then went to get the bread-and-butter passengers aboard. They were quartered where the noise came from.

A light thing came on to say we must not smoke (who ever heard of a cat smoking, anyhow?) and must fasten our safety belts. We did. The Guv held on to his basket as if it were precious. Ma held on to mine knowing that I was. A whacking great metal door slammed and the whole plane shook as if it would fall to pieces. However it did not, but slowly moved along past a lot of lights. Crowds of people outside waved. We saw their mouths open as they yelled. They looked just like fish we had had in a tank some time before. We rumbled on, making a horrid noise, then when I thought we had driven nearly to America the whole thing swiveled around, almost pitching me on my ear, and the noise increased. I yelled for the Pilot to stop it, but he could not hear me for all the noise he was making. There was a sudden sensation of violent speed, so suddenly that it almost mixed my lunch with my dinner, and then we were in the air. The Pilot must have been inexperienced, because he turned the plane on its side and circled the Airport to make sure that he really had left. I saw lights below me, hundreds of the things, then I saw a lot of water glinting in the moonlight. “Hey!” I shouted to him, “that's water down there, we shall drown if we fall in!” He must have heard me because he put the plane the right way up and pointed the thing at America.

We climbed higher and higher, up through scattered clouds which were painted silver by the moonlight, up and higher yet. We went faster and faster and higher and higher and I looked out of the window and saw flames shooting behind the wings. “Golly!” I said to myself, “now they have failed to drown us they are going to fry us!” I called to the Guv and he told me it was okay (that's American for all right) and I should not worry. I looked some more and saw some pipes in the engine were white hot. I felt that way myself. The Pilot must have got my thoughts because he spoke from the ceiling and in his spiel said not to worry any, we always went up in flames while gaining height.

The fat Stewardess came over, I missed what she said because I was so alarmed at the creaks when she bent. “Her clothes will never stand it,” I thought. Couple of silly Yanks lounged about in the First. Apart from them, what fat hunks they were, we were on our own. We got up to about thirty thousand feet or so, near Heaven I guess, and then the plane leveled out and we went sailing along by the stars.

“I'm going to give Ku a tablet,” said Ma, slipping a noxious substance between my lips before I or the Old Man could object. I blinked and swallowed. For moments nothing happened, then I felt a delicious light-headedness stealing over me. The urge to sing was irresistible. Man! I sure was high! The Old Folks got madder and madder as I got happier and happier.

Special note for cat fans; the Old Man made enquiries at Detroit Zoo later and found that cats are not tranquilised by tranquilizers. IT JUST MAKES US DRUNK! Fellow at the Detroit Zoo said he had had the same experience as the Guv with a drunken cat. Well, it was fun while it lasted. Now I guess I have done my share and will pass the task back to the Old Woman Cat, after all she started it and it is her pigeon.

The plane droned on covering hundreds of miles each hour. The lights had been dimmed, and then finally replaced by a faint blue light. Miss Ku lay in her basket, laughing softly to herself. Chuckle after chuckle escaped her. At last I could bear it no longer, curiosity overcame manners. “Miss Ku,” I said softly, so as not to disturb anyone, “Miss Ku, what are you laughing about?” “Eh? Me laughin'? Oh yeah, HA! HA! HA!” I smiled to myself, Miss Ku really was “lit up” as the humans say. I had only once before seen a cat in that state, and that had been a Tom who made a practice of going into a wine cellar and drinking up the wine droppings. Now Miss Ku was like it. “Feef!” she giggled, “It’s too good to keep to myself, Feef, are you listening? FEEF!” “Yes, Miss Ku,” I responded, “certainly I am listening, I shall be delighted to hear your tale.” “Well,” she started, “it happened just before you came to Howth. The Guv is a Buddhist Priest, or Lama, you know. He was sitting on a rock by the side of the water one day, and a young Catholic monk who was on holiday with a whole party of them sat down by the Guv. ‘My son’ said the monk (the Guv was old enough to be his grandfather!) ‘My son, you have not been to Mass today.’ ‘No Father’ said the Guv politely, ‘I have not.’ ‘You must go to Mass, my son,’ said the young monk, ‘promise me that you will go today!’ ‘No, Father,’ replied the Guv, ‘I cannot promise you that.’ ‘Then you are not a good Christian, my son,’ angrily retorted the young monk. ‘No, Father,’ answered the Guv mildly, ‘I am a Buddhist Priest, an Abbot actually!’ ” Miss Ku stopped for a moment and then broke into peals of laughter. “Feef!” she said at last, “Feef, you should have seen that young monk, he ran off as if the devil was after him!” At last even Miss Ku became tired of talking and laughing and fell asleep. I turned in my basket, and the Guv put his hand in and rubbed my chin. With a purr I dropped off to sleep.

The Guv was ill when I awoke, the Purser was bending over him giving him some drug. The Guv is old and has had many trials and ills, on the plane he had a heart attack and I did not really expect him to survive the journey. However he said to me before we started out, “If you can stand it, Feef, I can! That is a challenge to you!” I had a special feeling for the Guv, a very special feeling, because he and I can talk together as easily as Miss Ku and I can.

“HO-LY!” said Miss Ku in gloomy tones, “I sure have got a hangover! I'd like to give Old Vet-Face some of his tranquilizers so that he could know what they are like. What do human vets know about cats, anyhow?” “What time is it please, Miss Ku?” I asked. “Time? Eh? Oh! I don't know, I'm all mixed up with the time. Anyhow, the blue light is off and the full lights are on. Soon be chow time for Them.” I became aware of the clattering of dishes, and the small sounds that people make when they are waking up. I had become almost used to blindness, but it WAS frustrating not to know what was going on, not to be able to see what was happening. The Guv's hand came down to caress me. “Silly Old Woman Cat,” he said, “What are you worrying about now? Wake up, it is breakfast time, and we shall very soon be landing.”

A voice in the ceiling burst into crackling life. “Fasten your seat belts, please, we are landing at New York International Airport.” I heard the clink of metal, then the Guv took firm hold of my basket. The nose of the plane dropped and the engine note changed. There was a sensation of drifting, floating, then the engines came on at full power. A bump and a screech of tires. Another small bump, and the plane rumbled along the runway. “Keep your seats, please,” said the Stewardess, “Wait until the aircraft comes to a standstill.” We rumbled along, with the occasional squeal of brakes as the Pilot steered and checked our speed. A final drag and we slid to a standstill. The engines slowed and stopped. For a moment there was only the sound of people breathing, then a loud BUMP came from outside, followed by the scraping of metal upon metal. A door clanged open and a rush of freezing air came in. “Goodbye,” said the Purser, “fly with us again!” “Goodbye,” said the Stewardess, “we hope to have you with us again!”

We went down the landing ramp with the Guv carrying me, Ma carrying Miss Ku and Buttercup bringing up the rear. It was bitterly cold and I could not understand it. “Brrr!” said Miss Ku disgustedly, “A ***** hangover and now ***** snow!” The Family hurried along so that we should not be out in the cold a moment longer than necessary. Soon we entered a huge hall. Miss Ku, who knew everything, said that it was the Immigration and Customs Hall and was the largest building of its type in the world. The Guv produced all our papers and we all passed through Immigration and went on to Customs. “Wafyergot?” asked a man's voice. “Nothing to declare,” said the Guv, “we are in transit to Canada.” “What's them, cats?” asked the Customs man. “Ahhh!” said a Customs woman, with a drooly sigh, “I've seen 'em before. BE-U-TIFUL!!” We passed on, by the difference in smell I knew that a coloured man was carrying our cases, but the Guv and Ma still held on to me and Miss Ku. In the Main Entrance Hall the Guv sat down, because he was so ill, and Ma went off to see the American airline people who were going to fly us to Detroit. She was gone a very long time. When she came back she was seething with annoyance. “They have broken their contract!” she said, “They won't have the cats in the passenger compartment, they say they must be put in the luggage hold, it is something to do with their rules and regulations. They said that a mistake was made by the Shannon people.” I suddenly felt my age, felt very old. I did not feel ABLE to survive in the luggage compartment; I had had too much of that, and I was shocked that ANYONE would expect Miss Ku to endure it. The Guv said, “If the cats can't go—we won't either! Go back and tell them we will make the biggest fuss ever, and shall claim our money back as they agreed to take the cats with us if we paid in advance.” Ma went off again, and again we all settled down to wait. Eventually Ma returned and said, “I have told them you are ill, they are having us sent to La Guardia by special car. They suggest we stay at the big Motel there and then see if the Airline will change their mind.”

Soon we were in a huge car, an immense Cadillac which even had air conditioning. “My!” said Buttercup, as we threaded our way through the intense New York Freeway traffic, “I should not like to drive here!” “Its all right if you keep in your own lane, Ma'am,” said the Driver. Twenty minutes later we drew up at what Miss Ku told me was the biggest Motel she had ever seen. We all went in. “Do you object to having Siamese Cats here?” asked the Guv. “Sure they are welcome!” said the man at the Reception Desk taking a good look at us. “Sure they are VERY welcome,” he repeated, allotting us rooms. We seemed to be carried MILES along corridors before we reached our rooms. “Ladies Room QUICK!” yelled Miss Ku. I was grateful for her remark! The necessary facilities were speedily produced, and did much to contribute to our comfort and peace of mind.

“Food,” said Ma. “See to the cats first,” replied the Guv. Our routine had been very upset, but we felt that we could take it. We wandered around, looking in the three rooms we had taken, and very cautiously investigating the corridor. “I can see the Airport,” said Miss Ku, “that must be La Guardia.” Ma stood up, “Well!” she said, “I will go across to the Airline and see what can be done.” The door closed behind her and Miss Ku and I settled down to keep watch on the Guv. The journey had proved too much for his heart and he was flat upon a bed. Buttercup came in, “How will we get to Windsor if the Airline will not take us?” she asked. “Don't know, maybe by train,” said the Guv, “we could have a Sitting Room on a train and the cats would be with us,” he added. I was dozing when Ma came back. “They won't take us unless the cats go in the luggage hold,” she said. “NO!” replied the Guv, “we will find some other way.” For a long time there was silence. Miss Ku and I sitting together, both dreading that we should have to go in the luggage compartment; after all, we could not stay at the Motel long, the prices were fantastic. “They could only suggest an air taxi,” said Ma. “Well,” replied the Guv, “we shall get our fares refunded from La Guardia to Detroit as the Airline broke its contract. That will reduce the cost. Did they say what it would cost to fly all of us from here to Canada?” Ma told him what they estimated it would cost and he almost collapsed with the shock. So did Miss Ku and I. Then he said, “Book the plane for tomorrow morning, but it must be big enough to have the cats in with us.” Ma nodded her agreement and went out once more.

Miss Ku and I exercised by racing round the rooms. As they were strange rooms Miss Ku told me where everything was and ran ahead of me, I followed her closely and we managed to have real fun and entertain the Guv at the same time, he loved to see us play and leap into the air. When we were tired Miss Ku led me to a window and told me about the tall towers of Manhattan among which the Guv had lived and worked some years before.

Ma came back and told us that everything was fixed, and that we should be in Windsor, Canada, tomorrow at this time. Then we settled down to our tea, after which we sat and thought about the new land to which we were going. Darkness came early and we all went to our beds to get as much rest as possible; the trip from Howth had been even more tiring than we had anticipated. It was quite a pleasant Motel, but very expensive, being so close to the Airport and New York, but the Guv would never have been able to stand the journey without a rest. In the morning we had our breakfast and said goodbye to the man at the Reception Desk, he quite liked Miss Ku and me which Miss Ku said showed good sense on his part. Because the Guv was ill, and because of our luggage, we had a car provided by the Motel take us across the road and along to the office of the Air Taxi company. A very pleasant coloured man drove us and went to considerable trouble making sure we reached the right office and got as close to it as we possibly could. “Ah'll wait heah, Suh,” he said to the Guv, “until Ah sees you all is fixed up.”

We went into the Office and at first no one seemed to know anything about us. Then a dim light appeared to glow in one man's mind and he reached for a telephone. “Sure! Sure!” he said, “the Pilot is coming over here now. Just wait there.” We waited and then waited some more. Eventually a man swung impatiently into the Office and said, “You the folks going to Canada?” We said we were, Miss Ku and I adding our voices to give emphasis. “O-kay!” he said, “we will get your luggage aboard, what about them cats?” “THEY GO IN THE PLANE WITH US!” said the Guv very firmly. “O-kay,” said the Pilot, “the two dames must sit in back with a basket on their knees.” He led the way to the plane. “Ho-ly!!” exclaimed Miss Ku in an awed voice, “It is nothing but a ***** toy! Two engines, three seater plus pilot, four in all. Three wheel undercarriage. HO-LY!” she exclaimed with even more fervour. “I don't know how we are going to get the Guv's behind in that small front seat. Why,” she roared, “even the pilot has had his head shaved in order to make more room!”

Ma and Buttercup climbed in the plane which, according to Miss Ku, had almost as much room inside as a small car, with room on the back seats for two average people. Ma is comfortably padded, Buttercup is slender, so they made two, average people. I felt the whole plane sway when the Guv got aboard. He weighed about two hundred and twenty five or two hundred and thirty pounds (he may have lost a pound or two on the trip) and the plane tipped a bit. The pilot must have been the smallest pilot of the litter, because his weight apparently had no effect. He started up the engines one after the other, and let them warm up, then letting off his brakes he taxied slowly along. We covered miles on the ground, going to the far end of the Airport. Miss Ku gave me a running commentary. “Jeepers!” she cried, “all the aeroplanes in America are taking off from here; one a minute at least.” Suddenly the Pilot uttered a VERY naughty word and violently swung the plane sideways and off the main runway. “We gotta flat,” he growled, “Pilot of that liner just radioed me.” Behind us came the ear-splitting shriek of sirens and the roar of racing engines. A whole cavalcade of cars swung off the runway and surrounded us. “My oh my!” yelled Miss Ku above the noise, “they have called out the National Guard!” She peered cautiously over the bottom of the window, ears flat so that she would not be seen. “Cops, a lot of cops out there, the fire brigade, and a carload of airport officials, and they have a breakdown truck as well. HO-LY!” “Good Grief!” exclaimed the Guv, “What a shocking commotion for one poor little flat tire.” Men were running everywhere, sirens were emitting their last dying wails, and the sound of car engines mingled with that of airliners racing up before take-off. Sudden heavy thuds and heaves beneath us, and the plane was lifted inches off the ground so that the faulty wheel could be removed. The cars raced away, then the breakdown truck dashed off with our offending wheel. We sat back to wait. We waited an hour, two hours. “We could have WALKED to Canada in the time!” said the Guv in utter disgust. Leisurely the truck came ambling back along the service road flanking the runway. Leisurely, no, LANGUIDLY, men eased themselves out of the truck and strolled across to our plane. Eventually the wheel was fixed on again and the truck trickled off. The Pilot restarted his engines and let them warm. Talking into his microphone to the Control Tower he said that he was ready to take off. At last permission was given, and he opened the two throttles, raced the plane down the runway, and eased it slowly into the air. Climbing slowly, keeping well below the airline routes, the Pilot settled the plane on the correct bearing and put the throttles on cruising speed.

We flew and we flew and we flew, but we did not seem to be getting anywhere. “What speed are we doing, Miss Ku?” I asked. She craned her neck, looking over the Pilot's shoulder. “A hundred and twenty five, altitude six thousand feet, compass bearing North-West,” replied Miss Ku. I envied her her knowledge, her ability to see. I could only sit, depending upon others to tell me things. I thought, though, of all the flights I had made shut in a box, unconscious. This was FAR better, now I was being treated BETTER than humans for I was sitting on Ma's lap.