A member of Cambridge University Health Partners Coping with stress
Yüklə 2,06 Mb. Pdf görüntüsü
|
- Bu səhifədəki naviqasiya:
- Balancing competing tasks
- You have to take life as it happens, but you should try to make it happen, the way you want to take it
- Social support networks – people need people
Think of the last time you wanted someone to do a task for you but were unable or unsure how to ask him or her. Make a note of it here: .................................................................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................... Now try to create a clear statement or question for that person that you could have used. Try not to be unclear but avoid being aggressive, so rather than ‘Don’t you think the washing needs to be done?’ or ‘Why do you never do the washing?’ Try something like: ‘Could you do the washing? I’ve got a lot on my hands right now.’ .................................................................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................... The next time you need something done, or you are unable to do something you have been asked to, pause for a moment and try to create a clear but non- aggressive statement like you have done here. Balancing competing tasks We are very often performing balancing acts when we choose between different aspects of our lives and determining priorities. We have to balance one set of demands against another. This process in itself can be stressful. You may feel as though you cannot avoid letting someone down, or decide that the only way you can appease everyone is to let yourself down, which you may resent strongly
Some examples of balancing acts: Demand A Versus Demand B Paid work Work My job
Too much to do Eating well Need to keep fit Need for change and excitement Need to get work done Fitting everything in Time for my family Unpaid domestic or voluntary work Home My partner’s job Too little to do Not enough time/money to eat well Not inclined towards exercise Need for stability Need to have fun Getting enough sleep Time for me v v v v v v v v v v If you have problems with conflicting demands you can: Renegotiate - set limits on what you are prepared to do • Manage your time better • Learn to live with them • Have a go at this activity that will enable you to identify which of your most important demands fall into these categories. Make notes about one demand being made on you that you would like to renegotiate. What is the demand?................................................................................................ What would you like to change?.............................................................................. What would make it more bearable?...................................................................... Who would you have to discuss it with?.................................................................. When will you begin to renegotiate?...................................................................... 16 Make notes about a demand that could be improved by careful time management. What is the demand?................................................................................................ When can you spend half an hour making some plans? Make a note of this time in your diary .................................................................................................................................... What demands can’t you change? Make notes about one that you will have to learn to live with. What positive things could you do to help make this demand more bearable? .................................................................................................................................... You have to take life as it happens, but you should try to make it happen, the way you want to take it (Old German saying) “
Social support Self-esteem and stress You can think of self-esteem as your sense of self worth or what you think and feel about yourself. If you have good self-esteem you trust your own opinions and can make decisions. You can speak for yourself and be assertive without slipping over into being aggressive. Having good self-esteem is sometimes referred to as having a good self-image. With good self-esteem you will generally like yourself and other people and expect them to like you. This makes it easier to maintain friendships and, of course, friends help guard against the harmful effects of stress. If you have poor self-esteem you likely don’t think much of yourself and have a poor self-image. It will be difficult to be assertive and you may be passive or aggressive instead. With poor self-esteem your confidence in your own abilities will go down. How you feel about yourself directly influences how you behave. It is also difficult to make close friendships if you don’t think highly enough of yourself to believe that others could possibly care about you. You assume that there must be something wrong with anyone who would like someone as ‘unlikable’ as you!
With few friends it is difficult to get the support and feedback that can build confidence in your abilities and change your self-image. The good news is that self-esteem is learned and can be changed. Social support networks – people need people People really do need people! All the people who give you social support make up your social support network and within that network you are also almost certainly offering support to some of the others. It doesn’t really matter how many people are in that network, although a two person network can sometimes put a bit too much strain on the net! It’s the quality of the relationship that’s important.
Yüklə 2,06 Mb. Dostları ilə paylaş:
|