Look at the things you now realise you could have delegated. What stopped
you? Perhaps you like doing them and even if it is possible to delegate them,
you prefer not to? If you hesitate to definitely commit to delegating them, ask
yourself why you are hanging onto them. Are you worried about asking
people to do things? Are you worried that if someone else does them they
won’t get done properly? If you are choosing to do them, decide how much of
a priority they are. You may want to reconsider delegation.
Now look at your ‘W’ category. Are you accumulating too much guilt over this
list? It is important to recognise when ‘wasting time’ is the result of feeling
too anxious about what you are supposed to be tackling. Your anxiety pushes
you into procrastination.
However it is equally important to recognise that some things you have coded
as ‘W’ ought really be on a priority list! Sometimes, wasting time is quite the
best thing to do. You need short breaks, a quick breather, an energiser, a little
relaxation or even a bit of ‘light relief’ to prevent the pressures of the day
building up on you. They help you recover and should be valued and, indeed,
planned into your day.
Now that you have done this review you should find it easier to plan ahead by
making A, B, C and D lists of all the things you need to do. Use these ‘things to
do’ lists to plan daily and weekly timetables. Don’t forget to plan in time to
negotiate delegating your D list. When planning your week consider whether
there is a particular time when you are at your most productive. Are you a
morning person or an afternoon person? If so then this would be the best time
to do high-priority tasks
D-list jobs
Reason not delegated
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What activities make me feel good?
Are you getting enough time for yourself?
Time can be a precious commodity. Think about how you would spend your
time if you had it just for yourself. Allocating more time to yourself would
lead to a more balanced life between the expectations of others and your own
needs. Finding time for yourself is not a selfish act; if you are more relaxed and
less stressed then you will be more efficient in your tasks. If you are less
stressed at work then you will be able to focus on your job and be able to
achieve more in less time.
As you go through the week, make a note in the box below of what makes
you feel less stressed and things you enjoy. For example, coffee with a friend
or colleague, watching your favourite TV programme, or family mealtimes at
home. Are these things which you could try to do more often?
Now you have identified the activities that make you feel good, you can work
them into your time management. Schedule an appropriate amount of time
for them into your diary. This will help create a balance between what you
know needs to be done and what you would like to do in order to make life
more pleasant.
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Being assertive
Are extreme demands a major source of stress for you? Why do you experience
such extreme demands? Is it because you have trouble saying no? Perhaps you
should think about learning some assertiveness skills. Setting clear boundaries
with others makes it less likely they will try to place unreasonable demands on
you. This is true in all areas of your life, from work, to your friends and even in
your home. There is of course an important difference between being
assertive, and being aggressive.
Being assertive means:
Being open, flexible and genuinely concerned with the rights of others.
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At the same time being able to establish your own rights.
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Standing up for your own rights in such a way that you do not infringe the
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rights of others.
Expressing your needs, wants, opinions, feelings and beliefs in direct,
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honest and appropriate ways.
Being assertive can help avoid a lot of the confusion in our work and home
lives that can lead to stressful situations. A clear understanding of what you
want or expect from a person can reduce the chances of mistakes being made
due to poor communication. If you are able to clearly state what you expect,
then the other person will be more able to fulfil your demands.
How to be assertive
First decide what you want. You can’t jump this stage or everyone will be
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confused, yourself included!
Say what you want clearly and specifically. ‘Let’s meet at 6pm’, rather than
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‘How about around teatime?’
Support what you say by how you say it. If something is serious, look
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serious. Smiling often undermines what you are saying, so the person on
the receiving end doesn’t know what to believe. Tone of voice and body
language must match the words themselves. Mixed messages are
confusing and ineffective.
Don’t be manipulated or sidetracked. Say you want to stick to the first
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point and attend to the other issues later. If need be, repeat yourself.
Listen to the other person. They have the right to their point of view.
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Aim for ‘win-win’. Being assertive isn’t about getting what you want all
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the time. With two brains working co-operatively on a problem you can
aim for a workable compromise so both parties get something of what
they want.
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