The case of the boundary hoppers

Five Strategies for De-Escalating Conflict

and the Appropriate Situations to Use Them

Based on Kenneth W. Thomas, “Toward Multi-Dimensional Values in Teaching: The Example of Conflict Behaviors,” Academy of Management Review 2:3 (1977): 487.

A. Competing (low listening, high assertion)

1. When quick, decisive action is vital (e.g., emergencies).

2. On important issues where unpopular actions need to be implemented (e.g., cost cutting, enforcing unpopular rules, discipline.

3. On issues vital to the welfare of the organization when you know you are right.

4. Against people who take advantage of non-competitive behavior.
B. Collaborating (high listening, high assertion)

1. To find an integrating solution when both sets of concerns are too important to be compromised.

2. When your goal is to learn.

3. To merge insights from people with different perspectives.

4. To gain commitment by incorporating concerns into a consensus.

5. To work through feelings which have interfered with a relationship.

C. Compromising (medium listening and assertion)

1. When goals are important, but not worth more assertive (possibly disruptive) modes.

2. When opponents with equal power are committed to mutually exclusive goals.

3. To achieve temporary settlements of complex issues.

4. To arrive at expedient solutions under time pressure.

5. As a backup when collaboration or competition is unsuccessful.

D. Avoiding (low listening, low assertion)

1. When an issue is trivial, or more important issues are pressing.

2. When you perceive no chance of satisfying your concerns.

3. When potential disruption outweighs the benefits of resolution.

4. To let people cool down and regain perspective.

5. When gathering information supersedes immediate decision.

6. When others can resolve the conflict easily.

7. When issues seem tangential or symptomatic of other issues.

E. Accommodating (high listening, low assertion)

1. When you find you are wrong, or to allow a better position to be heard, to learn, and to show your reasonableness.

2. When issues are more important to others than to you; to satisfy others and maintain cooperation.

3. To build social credits for later issues.

4. To allow subordinates to develop by learning from mistakes.

5. When harmony and stability are especially important.

6. To minimize loss when you are outmatched.

Conflict Management Strategies Instrument

By Mark F. Fischer

Based on Kenneth W. Thomas, “Toward Multi-Dimensional Values in Teaching: The Example of Conflict Behaviors,” Academy of Management Review 2:3 (1977): 487.

Directions

Assume you are involved in each of the following ten conflicts. Read carefully the description of the conflict. Think about what you would do in each situation. Consider whether the conflict would best be reduced by one of the following five behaviors: (A) competing, (B) collaborating, (C) compromising, (D) avoiding, or (E) accommodating. Then choose one of the five, putting the letter of your chosen behavior beside the conflict.

1. ___ You are a new member of the parish staff. On Monday morning, the secretary criticizes you because, when you were answering the phone over the weekend, you did not use the special forms available in the office for taking messages. You did, however, get all the relevant information in the messages you wrote.
2. ___ There has been vandalism in the parish neighborhood and the pastor has insisted that the church building be locked at 8:00 P.M. He then goes on retreat and leaves you in charge. In the past, Hispanic parishioners occasionally have made late night visits to the Blessed Sacrament, and Mr. Martinez, the custodian, tells you there is no need to lock the church door.
3. ___ The pastor has been planning with the parish council and the liturgy committee a renovation of the church sanctuary. He proposes a separate “reservation chapel” for consecrated hosts. At tonight’s meeting of the council, he knows that many members plan to vociferously protest the reservation chapel. The pastor has invited the archdiocesan Director of Art and Environment to the meeting, but the director cannot come until next month.
4. ___ The pastor has asked you to help the RCIA director, who has been very successful in attracting people to the program and accompanying them through the rites. The director is not a theologian, however, and she does not present doctrine in a systematic way. You feel she ought to cover more material than she does.
5. ___ The pastor has asked the two associates to plan the Easter vigil celebrations and to present their plan at tonight’s meeting of the Liturgy Committee. One associate is committed to celebrating the vigil with the greatest possible splendor, including every reading and gesture the rites allow. You are the other associate, and you want to limit the length of the celebration so as to allow participation by the elderly and by families, whose attention span is lower.
6. ___ On Thursday night you were to give a youth ministry presentation about “healthy relationships.” When the teens gathered, however, they only wanted to talk about Clarisse, an occasional member of the group, not present for the meeting, who had become pregnant. The teens steer the discussion toward the dangers of casual sex, pregnancy, and abortion. You felt the discussion was important but, the next day, you have second thoughts when the DRE strongly criticized the way you handled the meeting. She said you had not covered the assigned topic and had allowed, even promoted, gossip about Clarisse.
7. ___ The parish secretary has held her position for more than ten years and gets her way by bullying the other staff members—insisting that her seniority, knowledge of the parish, and closeness to the pastor maker her the final arbiter in every dispute. She usually answers the door of the parish office, and one day you overhear her rudely turning away a street person who is asking for something to eat. You step forward and ask if you can help. She interrupts you, emphasizing that it is parish policy to refer the hungry to the St. Vincent de Paul shelter one mile away.
8. ___ A parent angrily approaches you with a complaint about one of the religious education teachers. The teacher said to the junior high CCD class (according to the parent) that the ordinary teaching of the Holy Father is not infallible. You know that the parent will not listen to your reasoned argument that the words of the Holy Father have to be rightly interpreted in light of their level of authority (i.e., whether they are spoken ex cathedra or as part of an encyclical letter, etc). You would prefer to speak to the teacher first, but the parent wants an immediate disciplinary proceeding.
9. ___ Mrs. Lee is unhappy because she feels that the lectors are not being sufficiently prepared to do their job properly. Changes have been made in the selection of readings, she says, and the lectors have not been informed until the last minute. Celebrants have changed the order of the entrance procession, she complains, without preparing the lectors. Suspecting that the complaints are legitimate, you want to learn from Mrs. Lee. At the same time, you want to protect the lectors from embarrassment and give them the support they deserve.
10. ___ The liturgical music director is the pastor’s friend and a gifted leader whose budget has grown every year. You, the parish administrator, have been aware since January of a budget shortfall. Two weeks before Easter, the pastor instructs you to cut the budget of every ministry by ten percent. The music director objects to the cut. He states that the organ (although playable) needs an unplanned repair and that he has already hired extra musicians for the vigil. You do not want to alienate the music director, but at the same time, you want to be fair. The director threatens to resign if his budget is touched.