More Heroic Failures

The Most Unsuccessful Jump 
When 
a 
show came to New York in 1978, the big 
question was: ‘While moving at seventy-five miles an 
hour high above the ground, can Tito Gaona finish his 
jump successfully?’ The short answer to this question 
was: ‘No’. 
Every night for nine months Tito tried to do his special 
jump with four turns sixty feet above the ground. Every 
night for nine months he started well, then missed his 
catcher and fell. But he was all right because there was 
something soft to fall on to. At Madison Square Gardens 
he was a wonderful failure, because he fell every night. 
‘Have you done it successfully anywhere?’ someone 
asked him. 
‘Yes, once,’ Tito replied. ‘Before the show, when only 
my family was watching.’ 
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The Most Unsuccessful Jump 

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The Most Unsuccessful Rubber Man 
In August 1978, Janos the Rubber Man was part of a 
show at Southend in England. People watched him high 
above them with his legs uncomfortably behind his head. 
Slowly he came down until he was touching the ground. 
Then he usually turned over a few times like a ball, 
before standing up. The children loved it. 
But one time he just sat there. ‘I couldn’t move,’ he 
explained later. 
One of the showmen put Janos in the back of his car 
and took him to hospital. Doctors took thirty minutes to 
straighten the Rubber Man and ordered him to lie still for 
a week. 
The Most Unsuccessful Lunch Hour 
One day in June 1978 Mr Stanley Hird was looking 
forward to working during his lunch hour because he had 
a lot of work to do. At one o’clock his wool factory 
outside the town of Bradford was empty and he was 
hoping to work better in the quiet building. 
At ten past one a 
cow 
fell through the roof. The factory 
was next to a field and the cow was able to climb on to 
the roof from there. For thirty seconds both of them did 
nothing. But then the cow was angry because this was 
her lunch hour, too. She began to move towards Mr Hird, 
looking at him in a very unfriendly way with her head 
down. This continued for some minutes while Mr Hird 
carefully moved towards the door and the cow knocked 
boxes of wool across the floor. But then the cow, whose 
name was Rosie, stopped 
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The Most Unsuccessful Lunch Hour 

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to eat some green wool and Mr Hird escaped from the 
building. Outside, he met a farmer who was looking for a 
young cow. The police came and also the firemen, who 
needed a special lifting machine to get the animal out.